


Idk what to name this ahahahahhaa (Avengers Group Chat I Guess?)

by Doctor_Freaking_Phil



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: :), Ahahhahaa idek any more, Crazy random stuff, Cussing, Fluff, Group chat, Humor, It makes old man Steve very angry, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, like quite a bit of it, vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-23 10:31:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20006866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Freaking_Phil/pseuds/Doctor_Freaking_Phil
Summary: SCREW YOU IW AND ENDGAME YA'LL NEVER HAPPENED. ALSO CIVIL WAR HAPPENED BUT THEY BESTIEEEES NOWWAND PETER IS TONY AND PEPPER'S BIOLOGICAL KID AND THE AVENGERS ARE A BIG HAPPY FAMILY.What happens when Tony creates a group chat for the Avengers?





	1. The Birth Of The Avengers Group Chat

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Awesome- Tony  
> Baby Spider- Peter  
> Birdy- Sam  
> Elsa- Steve  
> Jesus- Bucky  
> Sparkles- Thor  
> Scary- Natasha  
> Cawcaw- Clint  
> Wannabe Awesome- Rhodey  
> Red hands- Wanda
> 
> -MORE CHARACTERS TBA-

-TONY STARK ADDED STEVE ROGERS, NATASHA ROMANAV, CLINT BARTON, WANDA MAXIMOFF, BUCKY BARNES, THOR ODINSON, SAM WILSON, JAMES RHODES, AND BRUCE BANNER TO THE CHAT-

Tony: what's up fuckers

-STEVE IS ONLINE-

Steve: LANGUAGE 

Tony: fuck shit ass ass damn shitty shit shit

Steve: TONY I SWEAR TO GOD

Tony: don't swear it's bad

Steve: 🙄

-TONY STARK CHANGED HIS NAME TO I'M AWESOME 

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED STEVE ROGER'S NAME TO ELSA-

Elsa: really 

I'm Awesome: yes

-EVERYONE IS ONLINE-

Bruce: Tony what is this?

Clint: why can't I leave

Sam: WTF TONY I WANNA LEAVE

Natasha: 😒

Bucky: are you drunk

James: he probably is

Natasha: ^

Thor: HELLO FELLOW AVENGERS HOW ARE YOU

Thor: WHY ARE MY LETTERS SO BIG

Sam: you've got caps lock on bud

Thor: HOW DO I DEFEAT THIS LOCKING OF THE CAPS

Wanda: you press the arrow going up

Thor: thank you witch of the scarlet

I'm Awesome: first off I'm not drunk. Second this is a group chat that Peter forced me to make because apparently we fight too much and we need to bond

Sam: Tony I want to FUCKING leave 

Elsa: LANGUAGE 

Bucky: lol elsaaaaaa 😂

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED BUCKY BARNES' NAME TO JESUS-

Jesus: im taking that as a complement 

I'm Awesome: you all have boring names lets change that

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED BRUCE BANNER'S NAME TO SHREK-

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED NATASHA ROMANAV'S NAME TO SCARY-

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED CLINT BARTON'S NAME TO CAWCAW-

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED WANDA MAXIMOFF'S NAME TO RED HANDS-

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED THOR ODINSON'S NAME TO SPARKLES-

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED SAM WILSON'S NAME TO BIRDY-

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED JAMES RHODES' NAME TO WANNABE AWESOME-

I'm Awesome: your welcome 

Cawcaw: 😑

Sparkles- Thank you Stark

Birdy: how the hell do i leave this

I'm Awesome: you can't :)

Birdy: 🖕

I'm Awesome: thank you so very much

Elsa: PUT. THAT. FINGER. DOWN. WILSON.

Birdy:🖕 no 🖕

Cawcaw: lmao 🖕🖕🖕🖕

Elsa: 😑

Sparkles: I SHOULD GET GOING NOW. MY PEOPLE NEED ME

Sparkles: CURSE YOU GIANT LETTERS 

-Sparkles is offline-

Shrek: Tony, is there a reason why Peter's lab is covered in what smells like apple juice?

Jesus:...

I'm Awesome: Bucky

Jesus: yes...

I'm Awesome: what the hell did you do

Jesus: I might have filled a bomb with Apple juice...?

I'm Awesome: well I might send you to clean the lab

Jesus: I might not do it...

Cawcaw: did I just see Tony chase Bucky with a broom

Scary: don't ask questions Clint. Peter's home from school so he can probably train with us

Jesus: SCREW YOU TONY

-JESUS IS OFFLINE-

I'm Awesome: Finally got Cinderella to clean. With a bit of help from Peter and his puppy eyes of course

Red hands: speaking of Peter, why isn't he in the group chat?

Wannabe Awesome: yeah if he asked you to create this hell then he should be in it

I'm Awesome: becaaaaaaause 

Birdy: Tony...

I'm Awesome: this is for avengers emergencies only...?

Scary: you just changed everyone's names to idek what and Bruce is talking about Peter's lab smelling like apple juice

I'm Awesome: ugh fine it's because he's too adorable and he'll bug me about getting along 

Scary: too bad. add my nephew

I'm Awesome: ugh fiiiiiiiiiiine

-I'M AWESOME ADDED PETER STARK TO THE CHAT-

-PETER STARK IS ONLINE-

Peter: holaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

Elsa: hey kiddie how was school?

Peter: did Elsa just ask me about school??? 

Elsa: it's Steve 😑

Peter: oh hi uncle Steve!!! School was fine I guess

Birdy: you wanna train with me and Nat later kid?

Peter: WTF IS THAT SAM JDJDBDHSIALWLNFJDOLMAOOOOOO

Birdy: blame your dad if you die from laughter

Peter: ok I'll train with you guys 

Scary: ok meet up @7?

Peter: AUNTIE NAT YOUR NAAAAAMEJXNSNDJJD

Birdy: I mean it's not wrong

Shrek: Alright don't bother me I'll be in the lab

-SHREK IS OFFLINE-

Peter: DAD I CANT BREATHEEEEEEE

I'm Awesome: WHAT??? WHAT'S WRONG??? I'M COMING UP THERE

Peter: no dad I can't breathe cuz im laughing too hard 🤦‍♀️ smh 

I'm Awesome: DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN! STOP BEING YOUR ADORABLE SELF AND HELP YOUR OLD MAN OUT

Peter: dAd dId yOu rEaLlY cAlL mE aDoRaBlE 

I'm Awesome: yes I did. 

Peter: IM 15

I'm Awesome: hi 15, I'm dad

Peter: oH mY gOd yOu dId nOt jUsT tElL A dAd jOkE STOP ITJSBSJSBFJRJSKWLAP

I'm Awesome: whatever I need to change your name

I'M AWESOME CHANGED PETER STARK'S NAME TO SPIDER BABY

Spider baby: im not a baby 😑

Birdy: awwwww yes you are little boi

Spider baby: Sam...?

Red hands: does the baby need his bwanket and bwottle?

Spider baby: WANDA

Wannabe Awesome: rock a by baaaaaby on the tree tooooop 

Spider baby: really 😑

Scary: no Rhodey he doesn't need a nap he needs energetic music

Scary: baby shark doo doo doo doo doo

Wannabe Awesome: more like baby stark doo doo doo doo doo

Spider baby: I hate you all

I'm Awesome: you misspelled love

Spider baby: I know I did

-EVERYONE IS OFFLINE-


	2. HERES JOHNNNNYYYY

-EVERYONE EXCEPT I'M AWESOME AND BABY SPIDER IS ONLINE-

Scary: is there a reason why Peter just screamed bloody murder at 3 am???

Jesus: OMFG DONT COME INTO THE KITCHEN 

Wannabe Awesome: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN HERE

Cawcaw: IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN IT SHIT SHIT SHITTTTT

Elsa: L A N G U A G E

Birdy: CLINT WTAF MAN

Sparkles: IS THE CHILD DEAD

Cawcaw: SHUT UP THOR

Shrek: nice knowing ya Clint

Jesus: CLINT TONY IS GONNA MURDER YOU

Cawcaw: IM SOOORRRRYY I DIDNT MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN 

Red hands: um it's ok Clint... Just don't. Tell. Tony.

-I'M AWESOME IS ONLINE-

I'm Awesome: don't tell me what

Cawcaw: NOTHING

Jesus: nothing

Elsa: nothing 

Wannabe Awesome: nothing 

Birdy: nothing 

Sparkles: nothing tin man

Red hands: nothing

Scary: Clint murdered your son

Cawcaw: NATASHA 

Scary: payback for when you put salt in my milkshake 

-I'M AWESOME IS OFFLINE-

Birdy: oh shit Clint you better run 

Cawcaw: I'll be living in the vents tell Tony I'm sorry

Sparkles: Stark does not look too appealed 

-I'M AWESOME IS ONLINE-

I'm Awesome: CLINTON GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND YOU BETTER HAVE AN EXPLANATION 

Cawcaw: IM SORRY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HARMLESS PRANK

I'm Awesome: MY KIDS GOING TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED 

Cawcaw: IM SORRY FRIDAY TOLD ME THAT PETER WAS GOING TO THE KITCHEN AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO PRANK HIM SO I HID IN THE VENTS

I'm Awesome: KEEP FUCKING GOING

Cawcaw: SO THEN WHEN HE CAME AROUND I POPPED MY HEAD OUT A F SAID "HERES JOHNNNNYYYY" AND I USED THOSE BOOTS THAT STICK TO THE CEILING TO RUN ON THE CEILING AND STARTED CHASING HIM WITH A KNIFE 

I'm Awesome: WTF CLINT

Cawcaw: SO THEN HE WAS SCREAMING AND STUFF AND I SLIPPED AND LOST MY GRIP AND FELL ON PETER AND KNOCKED HIM OUT

I'm Awesome: im giving you 10 FUCKING seconds to run

Jesus: ooooh shiiiiit you better run

-CAWCAW IS OFFLINE-

-I'M AWESOME IS OFFLINE-

Scary: LMAO IS THAT CLINT SCREAMING LIKE A GIRL

Wannabe Awesome: I mean he's getting chased my iron man holding a knife I would be too

-CAWCAW IS ONLINE- 

Cawcaw: SHIT SHIT SHIT HELP ME FUCKING HELP ME SHIT HEADS THIS BITCH IS CHASING ME AND ITS FUCKING SCARY

-CAWCAW IS OFFLINE-

Sparkles: do you guys feel that rumbling???

Jesus: shit COVER YOUR EARS

Birdy: why...?

Birdy: YEP I KNOW WHY NOW

Red hands: Steve I didnt quite hear you

Elsa: L

Elsa: A

Elsa: N

Elsa: G

Elsa: U

Elsa: A

Elsa: G

Elsa: E

Shrek: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

Jesus: if Steve hears too many bad language words at once he freaks out and screams language so loud it could shatter your eardrums

Shrek: THAT DID NOT EXPLAIN THE 9.8 EARTHQUAKE 

Jesus: the thing is no one can explain it it hasn't happened in 50 years

Red hands: oh look Peter woke up

Birdy: aaaaaaaaaaaand Clint is unconscious 

-BABY SPIDER IS ONLINE-

Baby spider: oh hey guys why is my dad killing Clint???

Scary: lets just say that shit went down when you got knocked out

Elsa: ROMANAV I JUST HAD A MELTDOWN DONT TRIGGER ANYTHING 

Scary: fuck you

Birdy: nice job you made him have a seizure 

Scary: meh he's fine

Baby spider: wait i got KNOCKED OUT?

Shrek: yep and you have a pretty bad concussion so get some rest 

Baby spider: wait WHAT?!

Jesus: do you not remember 

Baby spider: remember what???

Birdy: clint fell on you and knocked you out

Baby spider: ohhhh yeah he scared the shit out of me 

Jesus: Pete I would watch your language Steve is having a major breakdown

Baby spider: oh ok sorry

Baby spider: but he did scare me pretty bad

Scary: says the person who is fighting insane people every night

Baby spider: this is different auntie tashaaaaaaa he was wearing a scary mask and he came running after me with a knife on the ceilinggggg

Scary: oh im sorry baby boy but your dad's got that covered 

Baby stark: iM nOt a bAbY fOr tHe lAsT tImE 

Scary: idc you're my baby now meet me in the home theater we're watching a movie

Spider baby: ok!!!

-SCARY IS OFFLINE-

-SPIDER BABY IS OFFLINE-

Sparkles: IM COMING TOO

-SPARKLES IS OFFLINE-

Shrek: Peter is supposed to be resting...

Wannabe Awesome: ehhh let the kid have fun right now

Shrek: fine but I'm coming up there too

-SHREK IS OFFLINE- 

Wannabe Awesome: wait for me!

-WANNABE AWESOME IS OFFLINE-

Elsa: fine im coming too as long as there is no cussing

-ELSA IS OFFLINE-

Red hands: yEaAaAa I guess I'll come too

-RED HANDS IS OFFLINE-

Jesus: it's almost 4 in the fucking morning and ya'll are gonna watch a movie

Birdy: yeah because the kid's probably sleepy and he's adorable when he's sleepy

Jesus: true true

Birdy: come on Buck lets go 

Jesus: wait what about Clint...

Birdy: fuck it just leave him there he traumatized the kid 

Jesus: fine race you there

Birdy: oh it. Is. On.

-EVERYONE IS OFFLINE-


	3. Puppy eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol l I got this idea from bird box except less violent but the intensity is still there

-SCARY IS ONLINE-

Scary: tones, you and pepper made a freaking adorable kid

Scary: [picture of Peter sleeping on Nat's lap]

-I'M AWESOME IS ONLINE-

I'm Awesome: we've already established that

-I'M AWESOME SAVED AN IMAGE-

I'm Awesome: that's being saved to my album of Peter being adorable

I'm Awesome: also where the hell is Thor

Scary: on vacation 

I'm Awesome: since when did gods go on vacation

Scary: who fucking knows

-BIRDY IS ONLINE-

Birdy: WHO THE HELL BROKE THE DISHWASHER 

-JESUS IS ONLINE-

Jesus: wanda 

-RED HANDS IS ONLINE-

Red hands: you told me too do it so Sam would have to hand wash the dishes

Birdy: oH rEaLlY 

Jesus: no

Red hands: yes he did

Birdy: COME HERE BARNES 

-BIRDY IS OFFLINE-

Jesus: OH SHIT

-JESUS IS OFFLINE-

I'm Awesome: alright so I just witnessed Sam is throwing spoons at Bucky who is now hiding in the fridge (how the hell does he even fit in there) so how's your morning going

-ELSA IS ONLINE- 

Elsa: oml what happened 

I'm Awesome: don't ask just read up and I'll get u some coffee 

Elsa: thanks

I'm Awesome: there you go

Elsa: hold on there's NOTHING IN THE CUP

I'm Awesome: ha get your own coffee old man 

Elsa: this bitch empty

Elsa: YEET

Scary: damn it you woke the kid up. It was cute while it lasted

I'm Awesome: DID YOU JUST CHUCK THE MUG OUT THE WINDOW

Red hands: DID CAP JUST SAY BITCH

Elsa: yes. I. Did.

Elsa: it took me weeks of counseling but I finally did it

Scary: ...

Red hands: ...

I'm Awesome: anyway... 

-SPIDER BABY IS ONLINE-

Spider baby: oMg dId cAp jUsT sAy yEeT 

Elsa: learned it from you, kid

Spider baby: omgomgomgomgomgOMGOMGOMGOMG

I'm Awesome: Steve I think you broke my kid

Spider baby: oLd pEoPlE dOnT sAy yEeT oMgOmGoMgOmGoMg

Elsa: yeet

Spider baby: NOPE NAT LETS GO TRAIN IM DONE

Scary: yeah I'm starting to get afraid

-SPIDER BABY IS OFFLINE-

-SCARY IS OFFLINE-

Red hands: I guess I'll come too

-RED HANDS IS OFFLINE-

I'm Awesome: well apparently T'Challa is coming in an hour for the meeting (which I'm not attending)

Elsa: Tony if all of us are coming then you better come

I'm Awesome: but Fury is scaaaaaarrrrryyyy 

-SPIDER BABY IS ONLINE-

Spider baby: IS SHURI COMING

I'm Awesome: you mean your girlfriend 

Spider baby: daaaaaaaaaaaad 😡

I'm Awesome: whatever she's coming 

Spider baby: YAY

Spider baby: CAN U ADD HER TO THE CHAT PLEAAAASE DAD PRETTY PLEASE 

I'm Awesome: no

Spider baby: PLEASE DAAAADDDDYYYY WITH SPRINKLES AND UNICORNS AND FLOWERS AND A CHERRY ON TOP 

I'm Awesome: no

Spider baby: I'll do it

I'm Awesome: you wouldn't 

Spider baby: I can and I will

I'm Awesome: im hiding 

Elsa: he will do it Tony. Trust me, you can't hide from it, I've tried too many times but failed every time.

-SHREK IS ONLINE-

Shrek: Tony unlock your door Peter's trying to get in

I'm Awesome: HES GOING TO DO IT IF I UNLOCK IT

Baby spider: Uncle bruuuuuce can you get the key for my daddy's room pwetty pweaaaaaasssseeee

Shrek: Peter, don't do it

Shrek: 1 down 🐶

-SHREK IS OFFLINE-

Elsa: HE DID IT

Elsa: HE GOT BRUCE

Elsa: NOOOOOOOO

I'm Awesome: SHIT I JUST TOLD FRIDAY TO CLOSE THE KEYHOLE

Elsa: CODE RED THIS IS A CODE RED ACTIVATE PETER PUPPY PROTOCOL REPEAT CODE RED

-EVERYONE EXCEPT SPARKLES IS ONLINE-

Red hands: what's going on?!???

Scary: shit TAKE COVER

Scary: PETER'S GONE MAD

Baby spider: im coming for you all 😈🐶

-BABY SPIDER IS OFFLINE-

Cawcaw: he... He spotted me

Jesus: CLINT NO

Birdy: you can't go man, YOU'VE GOT A FAMILY

Cawcaw: t- tell my wife and kids that I love them...

Cawcaw: 2 down 🐶

-CAWCAW IS OFFLINE-

Red hands: CLINT

Jesus: guys... I hear giggling 

Elsa: Bucky. Don't. Move.

Jesus: im scared...

Scary: you were a good soldier, Buck

Jesus: I love you guys...

Jesus: 3 down 🐶

-JESUS IS OFFLINE-

I'm Awesome: holy mother of fucking god

Elsa: BUCKY NOOO

Red hands: Steve, what are you doing...

Elsa: I NEED TO GO SAVE HIM

Scary: NO HE'LL GET YOU TOO

Elsa: I DONT CARE

Birdy: Steve, you don't have to do this

Elsa: that's where you're wrong, I do have to do this

Elsa: 4 down 🐶

-ELSA IS OFFLINE-

Scary: rip soldier

Red hands: guys, we need to live through this. Grab something to cover your eyes, and don't take it off. 

Birdy: got it

I'm Awesome: this can't be happening 

Birdy: GUYS

Birdy: PETER IS CHASING ME AND I CANT SEE

Scary: HOW THE HELL ARE YOU TEXTING

Scary: SAM?

Birdy: 5 down 🐶 you're next wanda 

-BIRDY IS OFFLINE-

Scary: SHIIIT

-BABY SPIDER IS ONLINE-

Baby spider: where are you going wanda????

Red hands: y-you will never win

Baby spider: I already have won

Red hands: 6 down 🐶 hi auntie nat

-RED HANDS IS OFFLINE-

Scary: Tony...

I'm Awesome: You're gonna make it through this... just keep your eyes covered if he comes near

Scary: I just want to let you know that... I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet...

I'm Awesome: you WHAT

Scary: 7 down 🐶 coming for you dad 

-SCARY IS OFFLINE-

I'm Awesome: Pete you don't have to do this, we can talk it out

Spider baby: remove the blanket and look into my eyes dad

I'm Awesome: no

Spider baby: MINIONS rEmOvE tHe bLaNkEt 

I'm Awesome: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Baby spider: 🐶🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🐶

I'm Awesome: sCrEw yOuR pUpPy eyes

-I'M AWESOME ADDED SHURI TO THE CHAT-

Shuri: I LOVE YOU 😮 BIIIIIIIITCH 

I'm Awesome: oh my god

-I'M AWESOME IS OFFLINE-

Baby spider: I AIN'T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU 😮 BIIIIIIIITCH 

-EVERYONE IS OFFLINE-


	4. vInE rEfErEnCeS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blajdbdieneidjd AHAHHAHAHAHAA

-I'M AWESOME IS ONLINE-

I'm Awesome: how was the meeting

-JESUS IS ONLINE-

Jesus: screw you Tony 

I'm Awesome: thank you

-SCARY IS ONLINE-

Scary: ok so Pepper found out that you didnt come to the meeting and she is demanding you to add her to this chat 

-ELSA IS ONLINE-

Elsa: oh God pray for Tony

I'm Awesome: ha I'm not scared of Pep

Baby spider: yeah you are

I'm Awesome: shut up

-I'M AWESOME ADDED PEPPER POTTS TO THE CHAT-

Pepper: TONY

I'm Awesome: yes my love

Pepper: CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU WERE NOT AT THE MEETING 

Shuri: Honey, you've got a big storm coming

I'm Awesome: well you see as a human being I find most things not enjoyable like sitting in a room for an hour as I drift off into space

Pepper: Tony 😠

I'm Awesome: PETER TOLD ME TO DO IIIIIIIIT IT WASNT MY FAAAAAAULT

Baby spider: WHAT NO I DIDNT DAD

-CAWCAW IS ONLINE-

-WANNABE AWESOME IS ONLINE-

Cawcaw: ouuuuuuchhhh

Wannabe Awesome: blaming it on the kid 🤦

Pepper: it's ok Pete, I know you aren't lying

Baby spider: yay 😋

Pepper: tony you're grounded for a day. No lab and no suits.

I'm Awesome: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME

Pepper: that's my OPINIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

I'm Awesome: 😮

Spider baby:🤭

Pepper: god im raising 2 children at once 🤦

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED PEPPER POTTS' NAME TO SALT-

Salt: 🖕

I'm Awesome: 👍

-I'M AWESOME CHANGED SHURI'S NAME TO WHATARETHOSE-

WHATARETHOSE: tHoSe aRe mY cHaNcLaS 

Elsa: anywaaaaaaaaay what do you guys wanna eat

-EVERYONE IS ONLINE- 

Jesus: CHICKEN STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPS

Birdy: FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS

Salt: CHIPOTLE

Red hands: OH MY GAAAAAWD I LAV CHIPOTLEEEEEEEE

Wannabe Awesome: CHIPOTLE IS MY LIIIIIIIIFEe 

Scary: cHiCkEn wInG cHi cHi cHiCkEn wInG

Shrek: CHILI'S

I'm Awesome: HI WELCOME TO CHILI'S

Baby spider: GUYS LETS GO TO DEL TACO

WHATARETHOSE: YESSSSS I HEARD THEY'VE GOT A NEW THING CALLED FRE-SHA-VACADO

Cawcaw: WATERMELOOOOOOWWWWN

Elsa: sure Clint...

I'm Awesome: waffles plz

Elsa: you need to wait till Bucky and Sam are done fighting 

I'm Awesome: why are they fighting this time 😑

Jesus: HE INSULTED MY CHICKEN STRIPS

Birdy: YOU DESERVE IT

Jesus: OH COME HERE WILSON

I'm Awesome: what the hell does that have to do with my fucking toaster

Elsa: they grab all the toasters in the kitchen and throw them at each other 

Birdy: SCREW YOU BUCKY 

Jesus: TASTE TOASTETRRR

I'm Awesome: um can i get a waffle

Jesus: AHHHHHHH

I'm Awesome: CAN I pLeAsE GET A WAFFLE

Elsa: ok... Thor, sam what do you guys want?

Birdy: TWO SHOTS OF VODCA

Sparkles: A CROISSANT 

Elsa: ok so Bucky wants chicken strips, Sam wants two shots of vodka, Nat wants chicken wings, pepper wanda and Rhodey want Chipotle, Bruce wants chili's, Peter and Shuri want del taco, Clint wants watermelon, Tony is getting waffles, and Thor wants a single croissant. You sure Thor...?

Sparkles: CORRECT AMERICAN CAPTAIN

Elsa: alright, be back in an hour

I'm Awesome: how much money do you have

Elsa: 69 cents

I'm Awesome: ha you know what that meaaaans

Elsa: i dOnT hAvE eNoUgH mOnEy fOr cHiCkeN nUgGeT 

Elsa: just kidding I have enough

Scary: just warning you there's road work ahead

Elsa: road work ahead? Yeah I sure hope it does

-ELSA IS OFFLINE-

WHATARETHOSE: hey guys guess what today is???

Wannabe Awesome: July 30...?

Cawcaw: the day Tony got grounded by his wife

Jesus: OOOOOOOF

I'm Awesome: really Clint 

Cawcaw: yes

WHATARETHOSE: nooo what day of the week is it???

Spider baby: iT iS wEdNeSdAy mY dOoDz 

Birdy: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

Sparkles: there must be a goat in the building fellow avengers 

Shrek: nope that was Peter 

Salt: Petey why do you have goggles and your suit on?

Spider baby: ...yes

Salt: that wasn't a yes or no question...

Spider baby: yes

Salt: k im not gonna put up with you and your dad's crazy shit

Spider baby: yes

Red hands: ha remember that time when u and cap were fighting Tony

I'm Awesome: yeah and Pete took him down by himself, it was great

Wannabe Awesome: how the hell did you manage to to that? 

Spider baby: well I shots him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he's an idiot

I'm Awesome: thats my boy 👍

-ELSA IS ONLINE-

Elsa: I'm back! Get your food or starve 

Scary: that was insanely fast 

Elsa: i know right! It's almost as if there's a teenager writing our lives and she is waaaaaaaaay to lazy to write 1 hour later so she just decided to bring me right now!

Elsa: also Clint! Your watermelon is already sliced up and ready to go

Cawcaw: oH mY gAwD iTs tHe mOsT bEaUtIfUl tHinG i hAvE eVeR sEeN iN mY lIfE 

Cawcaw: ITS WATERMELOWN 

Cawcaw: 

Cawcaw: INSIDE A WATERMELOWN 

WHATARETHOSE: hey Thor can you come over here and help me with something?

Sparkles: of course young princess!

WHATARETHOSE: BOO

Sparkles: eeeeeaaaHHHH

WHATARETHOSE: HA GOT IT ON CAMERA

Sparkles: STAAAAAP I COULD'VE DROPPED MY CROISSANT 

Scary: guys... Where is sam?

Shrek: bathroom taking a "bath"

Wannabe Awesome: shit he's doing it again

Salt: SAM get out of the bathtub unless your actually gonna take a bath but at least shut the door and take your clothes off like a normal person?

Birdy: NO IM WASHING ME AND MY CLOTHES

I'm Awesome: he drunk as fuuuuuuuuck

Birdy: BEEEEECH IN WADINH MW EN MAW CLOOOOOOOSE

Scary: just let him be

Scary: anywhoooooo I need to make a presentation later on the child rapist case and I need your guy's opinion on the introduction 

Jesus: go ahead

Scary: there is only one thing worst that a rapist: 

Boom 

Thor: 😮 a cHiLd 

Scary: no 🤦♂️

Salt: it's getting late I'm going to bed

Spider baby: night mom!

Salt: you should get to bed too baby, you should be resting to help your concussion that CLINT GAVE YOU

Cawcaw: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Spider baby: it's ok i forgive you uncle Clint 😋

Cawcaw: kiiiiid your too pure for this WOOOORLD

Spider baby: I get that a lot 😊 goodnight everyone!!!

-SPIDER BABY IS OFFLINE-

-SALT IS OFFLINE-

I'm Awesome: welp goodnight

-EVERYONE IS OFFLINE-

~4AM~

-I'M AWESOME IS ONLINE-

I'm Awesome: do you guys hear that banging?

-ELSA IS ONLINE-

Elsa: yep...

I'm Awesome: shit WE FORGOT ABOUT SAM

-BIRDY IS ONLINE-

Birdy: I DIDNT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YAAAALLLLLL YALL NOT GONNA GET ANY SLEEP CUZ OF MEEEEEEEE

I'm Awesome: go to hell

-EVERYONE IS OFFLINE-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I N E E D A L I F E
> 
> COUNT HOW MANY VINE REFERENCES THERE ARE AND COMMENT DOWN BELOW AND IF YOU GET IT RIGHT YOU GET A PUPPY EYES EMOJI FROM PETER 
> 
> IF YOU GET IT WRONG YOU GET A DEVIL EMOJI FROM PETER AND HE WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER 
> 
> (There's a a vine or a few blended in somewhere so watch out)

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEAAAASE GIVE ME MORE IDEAS! THANKS FOR REAAAADDDINGGGGGG


End file.
